I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
