Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
