My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
