I will die if light touches me.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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