I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize