i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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