i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He shit in the fireplace
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
