if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
