i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
