I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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