i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize