your thong is hanging out like whoa
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize