Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
