South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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