The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
