my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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