It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
