return my video game
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
