i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
