Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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