Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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