if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
