Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
