Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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