Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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