I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
