I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
