The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize