some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
