just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
