Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
