that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So. Much. Porn.
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