i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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