so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
