watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
