I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
