The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
