thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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