but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
