Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
