and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
