My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
