she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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