it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
