there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
