Ambien. No doubt about it.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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