someone owes me an orgasm
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
A bitchslap is in order.
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