Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
