our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
