I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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