I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
