I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
