There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
