I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
