I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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