THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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