if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
