HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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