just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
