would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
