do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
