take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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