we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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